Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I am lonely. My wife of forty years died two years ago and I realize
that my life has become increasingly isolated. My children live far away
and my grandchildren see me only on the holidays. My local friends
and bridge partners are not able to drive very far or at all, and I fear
that I am becoming housebound. I have enough money to support
myself, but I am getting sad about not having people to be with.

Alone Again

 
Dear Alone Again:

You are the perfect candidate for a group living environment. Too
many people think that this means a “nursing home” and warehousing
of seniors. Not true. In this day and age there are many vibrant senior
communities that provide a wide range of activities and possibilities for
connection. The ratio of men to women is in your favor, and while I’m
not trying to replace your departed wife, my guess is that there’s
many a widow who would happily cook you a Shabbat chicken.
Explore the facilities in your city. You will find places that
accommodate all levels of health and fitness, and some that provide
“step-down” units to facilitate a graceful transition if your health
declines. Look carefully at all the costs of these places, and work with
people whose judgment you trust (perhaps your lawyer or accountant)
to help you compare and evaluate them. Talk to your friends and see
when and where they are thinking about relocating. Perhaps your
foursome could find a place you all like. But even if you end up going
somewhere new, the professionals in the aging industry are very used
to helping people fit into their new environments and make new
connections. While you are making new friends you won’t be withering
on the vine at home. Don’t rush, but do act.