Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I am 64. I recently reconnected on Face Book with my first true love.
We were a couple in high school and would probably have gotten
married and settled down except my mother broke us up. Insert vivid
fights with her, decades of bad relationships for me, until I finally met
my husband, who reminded me of my first love. We had five good
years until he got cancer. I am widowed; I started dating, meeting no
one satisfactory. Then I re-met and am now in love again with my
numero uno, who lives 1000 miles away. We’ve seen one another,
embraced, and affirmed the connection, but haven’t figured out what
happens next. Unbelievably, my mother is still being a B-word about
him. Is this karma? How can I handle her?

Can’t Believe My Good and Bad Luck

 
Dear Can’t Believe:

Some things never change, including parents’ belief that they know
what&'s best for their kids. But at age 64 you have long earned the
right to decide with whom you are in love. And after bad decades and
cancer you deserve good ones.

 
Next might be a visit by True Love to visit you. You can (re) introduce
him to your family. Prior to that visit have a firm sit down with your
mother. Make it plain that you have had a long and complicated
romantic life both because of and despite her interference. But one
serious intervention is enough. Tell her in no uncertain terms, This is
the guy with whom I am going try and make a relationship, even given
the long distance constraints. It may end up in marriage or in flames,
but that’s my problem and right to figure out, not yours. If she is
smart she will keep her mouth shut and watch from the sidelines. If he
is smart he will greet her with a big hug, and try to disarm her with
charm.