Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I have been mentoring a young woman who just turned 18. She’s the
daughter of a colleague at work, a single mom without a college
degree. I hired the daughter to do household/yard chores, and helped
edit her college/scholarship applications. I never had any reason to
doubt her sense of responsibility. I hired her to housesit for a
weekend. I asked her to do things like bringing up the trashcans and
newspaper plus cleaning and gardening chores, in addition to cat care.
I left her an extra $20 for the chores. When I walked in, the house
reeked of old cat food and garbage. None of the chores had been
done. Should I (and if so how) ask her why the place was so ill-
tended? Ditto re saying something to her mother.

Burned

 
Dear Feeling Burned:

You should absolutely say something to the daughter. You will need to
do so in a manner that is not immediately confrontational or creates a
sense of defensiveness. But you should not just let her behavior pass
by as acceptable. Also, you should not hire her again without a very
clear understanding about what she is to do and when and how. My
suggestion, given her age, would be a text, that asks simply, Was
there some reason you didn’t do any of the chores we discussed? That
will give her time to respond, in contrast to a phone call where she
would hear the (legitimate) distress in your voice. That might cause
the situation to escalate quickly and perhaps unnecessarily. My guess
is that she will respond quickly, possibly with an excuse that may not
satisfy you. But rather than push the point on this occasion, strive for
clarity the next time, if you indeed feel comfortable trying again. You
might mention something casual to the mother if you don’t feel
satisfied. But that might cause more pressure than you intend.