Category Archives: Career & Education

Squeezed

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I supervise a young woman whose life has been turned upside down in
the past six months. Her supposedly loving husband cheated on her,
and walked away from their two children. Her life has been hell but
she has also changed from a smart, reliable, assistant into a flaky, late
for every deadline, staff member whom I’m afraid to rely on. The
company is a very fast-paced environment, and employees are
measured by their billable productivity as well as their ability to do
marketing. She’s loused up several bids and also declined
opportunities to work for other supervisors when they’ve needed help
in a jam. They’ve come to me saying it’s my responsibility to get her
on track, and that if I cannot, her job may be in jeopardy. Now I have
to change from a listening ear and comforting shoulder into a hard-
nosed boss. Is there a graceful way to do it?

Squeezed

 
Dear Squeezed:

It’s always hard to shift gears when you’ve been a source of comfort
and support. The hard part is knowing when your role has changed
from friend to enabler. She’s lucky to have someone she trusts in
apposition of authority. You can only hope that gives your word added
measure rather than weakening them.

 
First thing, get past the immediate deadlines. If you cannot rely on
her, pull some all nighters, or call in other staff. Then sit her down, in
your office, door closed, and tell her, This is not a friend, peer, comfort
talk. This is your boss telling you things you won’t want to hear, but
better from me than from my bosses. The bottom line is that your
work has become unreliable. We’re all sympathetic with your life
struggles. None of us would want to go through them. But the firm
cannot depend on a weak employee. So here’s my recommendation:

 

Take a temporary leave of absence to get your life back together. And
enroll in an EAP (employee assistance program) that’s mandatory as a
precursor to developing an action plan for employees whose work
needs remediation. Everyone here wants you to succeed. But we need
to turn this around fast or you’re on the road to looking for a different
job. I know that’s hard to hear. It’s hard to say. But I value you and
want to see you make it. I’ll do what I can to keep you off deadlines.
But that’s hard and can’t last forever. Please help me help you. Then
you’ll see if she’s strong enough to pull it together. If not, she may
have to use her time between jobs to reorganize her life. Sad but
maybe necessary.

The Assistant (No More?)

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

For years I worked for an executive who was very high-powered and
driven. Over time he began to lose his ability to do his job well and
eventually sold the company to younger folks. Five years later they
have paid him off and bought him out and essentially retired him. But
because he doesn’t know how to do nothing he has come up with a
plan that he started out calling “middle class services,” a name I have
convinced him to abandon. His theory is that double-working
households need cheap labor to do all the errands and chores that
they don’t have time for during the week, so they can have some
quality time together. Great theory. But he wants to set up a college
dropout into business to provide the kind of services the kid provides
him to others. That means going head to head with established
concierge and care companies, of which I found several with excellent
reputations and lower prices than he is proposing, all in a two-minute
google search.

He wants me involved as the lemon-sucker and offering to pay for
my time. I think the kid is just nodding yes to the guy who pays him
now, and is too lazy to build a business upon. I don’t mind consulting,
but I do mind batting my head against a wall knowing it is going to
get bloody and bruised.

The Assistant (No More?)

 
Dear Assistant:

You can earn your keep as you did in the past: by being a truth-telling,
lemon-sucking consultant. Before anyone starts a business they need
several important thing. In rough order: an idea for a product or
service that people want; an idea that’s not already being sold by so
many people or so cheaply that there’s not room for more
competitors; enough capital to get the process going and to outlast the
start-up period; intelligent committed staff who are willing to work
extra hard without a guarantee of success; and sufficient
communication, bonding, and common vision among owners and
employees that the folks on the ground can tell the folks upstairs what
needs to change, and the folks with the money can decide how much
they want to commit.

 
In this case, either you or the proposed employee can research the
market and suss out who is already providing those services. The
would-be entrepreneur may falter at your news. If not, he should take
a couple pages out of the multi-level- marketing playbook. That means
identifying all possible people he could approach or the erstwhile
employee could approach in his name to say, Hi, so-and- so has been
employing me to so x, y, and z and thought you might want a personal
assistant too. If he can connect with enough folks who will pay for his
time to fill up the FTE he is willing to work, you’ll quickly be able to see
if he is cut out for marketing and working. But if he’s just looking for a
middle management paycheck, it’s a great time to learn that you don’t
get to the middle till you start at the bottom.

Starting Over

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

A month ago I applied for my dream job but I have heard zero. I am
adult who went back to college in my 30s and just finished my degree.
Even though I am not the typical hire, I think all my earlier work in
construction proves I am a great employee, not afraid of messes or
hard work. Now I have business degree to go along with hands-on
skill. How can I sell myself as worth at least as much as a 21-year old?

Starting Over

 
Dear Starting Over:

Check to posting agency to see what the status of the job is. If it is not
yet noted as “filled” you can call Human Resources and ask what the
status and timeline is for filling it. If you get a friendly sounding
person, say you applied and want to know if you are still among those
being considered. Stay casual and optimistic, even if you are told you
are not among those still in the running.

 
If/when you get a rejection, call and ask for an informational interview
with the HR manager. Explain you want to introduce yourself, and to
find out how to best present your skills. Use your mess/hard work line
when you are in the meeting. Dress professionally and be very clear
that you are an asset exactly because you have rebuilt yourself
professionally, and that you will bring particular skills of teamwork and
perspective to any job they’d hire you for. This doesn’t ensure you an
interview the next time. But it does guarantee they’ll remember you,
and perhaps pass you onto the specific department to meet.

Stretched Thin

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

Help me out of a pickle. When I worked, which is until I retired a year
ago, I was the contracts manager for a small company. I worked
primarily with two people: the president (who is now a consultant to
the same company) and with a man who was like my twin brother. We
saved each other’s lives emotionally more often than I can count when
working with the president got rough. I just walked into two vmails:
one from former coworker who’s managing a contract with my ex-
boss, and one from the ex-boss. They disagree about how much
money he should get on a project and what he should do. Each is
calling on me for help but nobody’s paying me yet for my insight and
advice. My sympathies are with my co-worker, but there’s a lot of
complicated history, and my ex-boss hinted he would pay me to be his
negotiator. What should I do?

Stretched Thin

 
Dear Stretched Thin:

You have a variety of choices about how to respond to each. The
simplest is to politely return both phone calls and say, You know I’m
really enjoying being retired. You two are going to have to learn how
to talk to one another without me. Say what needs to be said, and
keep talking until you agree. Option two is to decide whom you
genuinely like better, and if you can afford to let go of the relationship
with the other. That changes what you say on the calls. If you have
any interest in working for your ex-boss again tell him you’re happy to
serve as his contracting agent but here’s your fee. Make it high
enough to compensate for hazard pay. If you prefer to help your friend
and say the hell with the money, then tell your ex-boss No thanks, and
tell your friend your opinion on how to manage the work and the ex-
boss.

 

Even if you help solve this contest, everyone needs to recognize this is
a one-time pass, and that in the future you will politely decline to be in
the middle of any such dramas. Your simplest answer both of them is
really this: You know working together was great but retirement is
even better. I’m sure you can work this out. Your voicemails reminded
me how much I prefer my watercolor class. Good luck!!

Off Duty Please

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

Can you help me design a “staycation?” My husband has had a raft of
medical problems. Sadly they include orthopedic problems, which
means that our normal hobbies of hiking and mushroom picking are
completely off the table. I’m a teacher and have a few weekends left
and then a long summer. I’m not expecting a two-week period at
home where I have no responsibilities, but I would like to design a
plan where I can get several days in a row to indulge my desire to
write. I have an idea for a children’s book, actually a series of them,
and a good friend who is an artist who can collaborate. My husband is
retired, not to mention grumpy from months of medical aggravation.
So he is lonely and looking for company. I don’t want to be unfriendly,
but I’m stressed by his condition also, and need my summer to
recharge.

Off Duty Please

 
Dear Off Duty:

You need to balance out the mix of responsibility with creativity.
Anyone who works at home will confirm that simply walking into the
kitchen to get a cup of coffee can trigger many hours of
procrastination and distraction, especially if one’s creative work isn’t
flowing. So you will need to set clear boundaries about when you do
what, and get an agreement from your husband to help you reinforce
them, and to keep out of your way in your creative time zones.

 

You don’t want him to think that your time together is all about work.
Getting him engaged in household maintenance before you get your
creative staycations is a deal he will have to agree to. Put a carrot in
the stick and make plans for a big date at the end of each one. For
example, Monday and Tuesday are together days doing home care.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday until 3:00 is your creativity zone.
Then weekend is playtime together. Part of your prep is to have your
“creativity bag” ready to go: a tote with a dedicated set of materials
including laptop, clipboard, drawing paper, dictation device, whatever
you need all packed and ready to grab. Then on Wednesday morning,
head out to a coffee shop and set up for creativity. In the house, have
a special flag or sign that says, “The Writer is Out” which hubby should
agree to respect, house fires or broken legs notwithstanding.

Shell Shocked

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I worked with an abusive boss for 26 years. I am finally free of
working directly with him, but we’re both employed by the same
company. People who do still work with him come to me to vent, and it
causes all the same responses it did when I suffered more directly.
Just thinking about him causes an anxiety spike. It’s a physical
reaction in my body: twisting in my gut, racing pulse, shallow
breathing. All the classic fight or flight responses. I’m not even
discussing my mood, which plummets. My wife encouraged me to
unplug from him, but I cannot afford to quit, and at 58 am unlikely to
find a job as good as this one. What’re some things I can do, other
than avoiding him and conversations that include his name? It’s a form
of PTSD I am eager to finish healing.

Shell Shocked

 
Dear Shell Shocked:

What you are describing is indeed a form of PTSD. Also classic
Pavlovian conditioning. You need to switch off your responses to the
stimulus. Avoiding direct contact with his person and conversations
about him and his abusiveness is a great start. But better is to
cultivate relaxation responses, because you’re still in an orbit that
includes many old cues.

 

Start by identifying a code word for yourself that is your new
command to set the process in motion. Make it something silly and
unrelated to work: tofu, bozo, or papaya. The minute you start to feel
yourself respond in old ways, say the word and start imaging yourself
getting up from a chair at a table where he is sitting, walking out of
the room, and closing the door behind you. If you still hear his voice in
your head, image turning down the volume dial on a radio until it
fades to silence. See yourself walking into the sunlight and going to
meet your wife at your favorite restaurant at a vacation resort. See
yourself sitting at a table with her, looking at an incredible view, with a
plate of tasty tidbits and flight of beer or wine. If thoughts of him
reappear, start over: say your cue; close the door; turn down the
sound; and have another slosh of anesthetic. Do this often enough and
he will fade into your past.

 

PS if you start to develop a drinking problem, change the imagery and get
a therapist.

PC Too

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I work in a school in a poor rural district. Most of the teachers are
kind, caring, and dedicated professionals. The few that are not are
given a very wide berth by the rest of us, so it is very uncommon to
hear racial slurs or other forms of insensitivity. A colleague just placed
a problem in my lap involving two friends. One, A, my friend who
works in a different classroom reported that the other, B (one of my
best friends), said something close to the N-word and that she was
horrified and wanted to report her. A said that B said it in a joking,
almost friendly context, referring to her weekend as “I’m going to go
out in my yard and work like a field hand.” A is from South Africa of
mixed race and very sensitive. B has never, ever, ever exhibited any
racist tendencies. If anything she’s among most politically correct
people I know. But A was legitimately shocked and wants to make an
object lesson of B as a warning for the real racists. If she succeeds in
getting something put in B’s permanent file, B might never work again.
I think it was a very unfortunate slip of the tongue, and I don’t want to
see her chastised too harshly. What, if anything, can I do as an
intervention?

PC Too

 
Dear PC Too:

You can sit down with the two of them and hope that the conversation
works. The message you want to deliver is: You may have thought you
were joking to a friend, but you are not black and you cannot know the
impact of hearing a word that’s been used not just as a racial slur but
is also close to a word that’s been used as a form of violence and
intimidation for centuries. Please apologize now. Please promise you’ll
never do this again. Please ask A’s forgiveness. Then be quiet and let
B speak for herself. A is going to have to hear the sincerity in her
apology and a deep desire to participate in some form of remediation,
not just to A personally but as part of a social context.

 

The three of you might also go to the administrative powers that be
and ask that the whole school (teachers, staff, students) receive some
racial sensitivity training. You don’t have to go into the details of the
incident. Rather declare it a matter of common concern that you would
like to see addressed by the whole community. Ask for a special
assembly with invited speakers, and workshops where teachers and
students from mixed age groups can participate. Also ask that a
procedure be put in place where violators of the no-insults policy by
given a graduated series of warnings and censure. I doubt that B will
repeat the offense, but think a permanent mark on her record is too
great a price to pay for misspoken attempt at bad humor.

Moving On

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I’m in my late 40’s and about to reenter the workforce. I am
accomplished and intelligent. I think my skills are transferrable to a
wide variety of jobs, but on paper I look like someone who’s been in K-
12 education for most of the last twenty-five years. Do you have any
advice that will help me get in the door? I will consider anything from
an office job to retail, so long as I do not have to work 60-80 hours a
week without being treated with respect for trying hard to help kids.

Moving On

 
Dear Moving On:

Update your resume first, and not just the way you did it the last time.
Go online and find current protocol for resume formats. Don’t be
dissuaded from going onto a page 2; if you really have 30 years
experience it’s worth showing it off. Organize your professional history
by skill sets and job titles, as opposed to dates and employers. Re-
rank them based on the priorities of the jobs apply for. That’s step
one.

 
More importantly get used to adapting what you have done to what
people might pay you for now. Go online to every possible public entity
you might apply for a job. Research every posting that’s open,
whether you would apply for it or not, and make a list of all the
“supplemental questions.” The draft your answers to questions about
your experience with supervision, financial responsibility, diversity,
research and report writing, to name just a common few. These drafts
will give you a basis for your own answers when you actually apply for
jobs o land interviews. It really helps to have a few funny stories and
success stories for relevant topics. Practice saying them aloud,
succinctly and with confidence. Let your experience carry you.

Craving Space

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I’m a teacher who is returning to work this week. My husband is recently retired,
and suffering from the lack of social contact that he got from his colleagues. In
summer, when he had me around all day, we did a great many things together.
But when I would go off and visit my girlfriends or do volunteer work, I could tell
he was restless and overly needy when I got home. When I walk in the door after
teaching I need some time to decompress before I am ready to be social or to
take care of him. I simply cannot absorb or fulfill all his emotional needs. Ideas?

Craving Space

 
Dear Craving Space:

Your hubby needs something to occupy not just his time but his
mental energy so that he has something to share with you when you
are together, so he’s not so needy that he pounces on you the second
you walk in the door. Consider: projects like things to do around the
house, a new hobby, volunteer work of his own, or to enroll in classes.
I always suggest having a signal (beyond Hi honey I’m home.) as a
cue that you are ready to interact. Even 10 minutes to put down your
purse, check the mail, make a cup of tea, and exhale can be enough to
reset your mood.

 
I suggest a family planning council where you sit down and talk about
a typical week. Map it out on the calendar, where you block out all
your commitments and obligations, as well as the things you would
like to do in your leisure time, both with and without him. Then ask
him to do the same. Hopefully the yawning void will inspire him. If not,
talk about things he “has always wanted to do,” whether it is learning
a foreign language (perhaps in preparation for a future trip) or a new
skill. Perhaps his former profession is useful to some non-profit in a
volunteer capacity. Help him get excited about possibilities, and
remember there’s always going to the gym. That alone should make
him look for alternatives, lol.

Survival Tips

Survival Tips for the World of Work

Click on the topics below for Your Jewish Fairy Godmother’s advice on
situations we all face in our careers:

Resume Writing
Job Hunting
Long-distance Job Hunting
Interviewing
Your First Day At Work
Being A Good Gatekeeper
A Tough ^%^@ Boss
Email Etiquette
Public Speaking
Team Building
Demystifying Statistics
Goal Setting
Changing Jobs
Career Building
An Annual Mental Health Check
25 Summary Tips

10 Commandments for the Care and Feeding of Executives

Knock Knock: Who’s There?

Your Jewish Fairy Godmother’s 10 Commandments for the Care and Feeding of Executives

Executive Assistant, Personal Assistant, Executive Secretary, and Gatekeeper
are all names for the person who is closest to the boss, whether s/he’s the
manager of a department, a division, or the whole company. It’s among the most
interesting, edgy, and complex jobs in any organization.

 
Among the perks are access to confidential information, advance notice of what’s
blowing in the corporate wind, and witnessing firsthand the personality quirks of
organizational leaders. You’re the fly on the wall when big decisions are
discussed. Line staff and even managers are nice to you, because they want to
know what you know or because they think you can help them get something
they want. All of this can blow up in your face, of course, if you abuse insider info
or try to influence the powerbrokers when they’re not ready to listen.
Follow these commandments if you want to become, and stay, invaluable:

 
Commandment Number 1: Be loyal.

All roads will lead back to this commandment. If you’re motivated by self-interest,
remember that Mr/Ms/Mrs. Big is the person who’ll one day determine the size of
your bonus or the timing of your promotion, write your letter of reference, and
generally control your personnel file. What’s true of any supervisor is written in
capital letters for this relationship: what goes around, comes around. Take good
care of your MB. And if you’re not prepared to look at the world from your MB’s
point of view, this isn’t the job for you.

 
Commandment Number 2: Keep the gate closed.

Your MB is the person everyone wants a piece of. That goes for other
organizational muckety-mucks wanting to test the political waters to cold-call
marketeers who want a piece of MB’s wallet. This list includes people who have a
legitimate call on MB’s time: people who are supposed to deliver projects and
reports, people with financial information, and employees with gripes or personal
problems. Be sympathetic, and listen carefully to all of their entreaties. Then ask
your boss which ones should get through the gate.

 
Commandment Number 3: Save your Mr/Ms/Mrs. Big time.

Don’t screw up the schedules. Don’t forget to make and re-check travel logistics
like flight times and rental cars, meeting times and locations, attendees, or
anything that can cost your boss time or money. Create efficient systems for
setting and confirming appointments, everything from business meetings to
haircuts, and for making sure s/he remembers them. If your MB is standing at
baggage claim when s/he’s supposed to be at a meeting or on a conference call,
the head that’s going to roll is yours.

 
Commandment Number 4: Develop functional systems.

You’re probably the only person in your MB’s life, other than a spouse, who gets
the big picture, who knows all the stresses and deadlines that s/he is under.
Create and implement systems that help you bring urgent matters to the
foreground, before they explode. Prevent littler matters from festering in cracks
that will later undermine your collective future. Whether it’s a “Read Me Tonight!!”
pile, red folders on the executive chair, or a five-minute daily morning check-in,
come up with systems to suit your MB’s work habits that’ll keep you both on
track.

 
Commandment Number 5: Represent your MB appropriately.

If you have a potty mouth with friends, that reflects on you. But one badly timed
#&*@!! to a client, employee, or other manager can damage your MB’s
reputation. So can an overly familiar attitude or smug arrogance that implies you
know something that you’re not supposed to. Even your presence and
participation in meetings counts. Get guidance about the tone and style your MB
wants you to cultivate, and stick to it. If something you do angers or reflects badly
on your MB, you won’t be a gatekeeper much longer.

 
Commandment Number 6: Listen more than you speak.

Everyone will want to pick your brain about your MB’s opinions and plans, or to
litmus test their ideas on you to see how you think your MB will respond. Here’s
the truth: you don’t know, so don’t pretend you do. Button up your lips. If you
mislead someone with false hopes or betray insider information, the person
you’re setting up for a fall is not the listener but yourself. Collect opinions,
feedback, and even gossip from and about everyone. Be like a little packrat, so
you always have something bright and shiny to offer up to your MB if you need
to. But don’t betray the boss who feeds you.

 
Commandment Number 7: Tell your MB the truth.

No matter what’s going on, you have to tell all. If you get caught in a lie, even a
white one, you’re doomed. There has to be absolute trust between you and your
MB. You have to be the source of information that’s accurate, and you have to be
willing to give your opinions. That’s how you become a safety zone, and an
invaluable ally. This trust takes time to develop, and must be nurtured with
appropriate helpings of deference and wit, spontaneity and elbow grease, and
some creative private metaphors that are your codewords for communicating.
Once you’re in the inner circle, you can stay there by being a trustworthy and
reliable source of input.

 
Commandment Number 8: Work for someone you like.

Being an executive assistant will mean doing things for your MB that you don’t
even like doing for yourself (think filling out insurance forms or acres of tedious
filing). You might be asked to pick out a spouse’s gift or cope with a child’s or
pet’s crisis. You have to be able, ready, and willing.. If you don’t like the person
who’s asking you do these things, especially things that seem to have nothing to
do with business, it’s going to show. If working with your MB turns into a mere job
(instead of a fun and unpredictable game), you might as well find another way to
pay the rent.

 
Commandment Number 9: Befriend the family.

If your MB is like most other execs, family life is going to take a back seat to
work. That means being late for children’s plays and games, forgetting
anniversaries, too many meetings and too much travel, lots of reasons for
families to resent work. Become their confidante as well as your MB’s, someone
who dispenses good advice, solves problems so they don’t have to interrupt, and
a willing, always available, ear. There’s always some risk of jealousy, but if you
walk this tightrope well, it could be a good insurance policy; become someone
your MB would look like a big louse to fire.

 
Commandment Number 10: Master this: “Please make it so.”

You’re the person your MB will turn to with impossible needs and ridiculous
timelines. You’re the place the buck stops. You’re expected to work scheduling
miracles on a daily basis (like rearranging meetings for twelve other busy MB’s
with only two hours notice). You’re the safety net; you’re what keeps anything
and everything from hitting the floor with a nasty noise. Whatever you’re asked to
do, it’s in the job description, the last line of which reads: Please make it so. If
you master this commandment, you’ll become your MB’s secret hero. It’ll pay off
in the long run.

 
Punchline: To be a good gatekeeper you need a special personality: a unique
blend of helpfulness and assertiveness, patience and energy, dogged
persistence and infinite creativity. If you can find the right fit, it’s as satisfying as a
great romantic relationship. And it pays off with income, security, and
professional self-esteem.

10 Commandments for Resume Writing

Struttin’ Your Stuff:
Your Jewish Fairy Godmother’s 10 Commandments for Resume Writing

There’s nothing like having a connection at the other end, someone you
know personally, or even a friend of a friend, some receptive audience on whose
desk your resume will land. But regardless of who’s going to read your resume,
what you put on it and how it looks will help determine if you get an interview,
and possibly even land the job or if you get round-filed.

Consider your resume as an extension of your self. It represents your
history and to some degree your personality. Think of it like a two-dimensional
greeting card. (Note: Three-dimensional resumes will be the subject of a future
column.) So try these ten commandments and boost your chances of getting to
the next step in the hiring process:

 
Commandment Number 1: Make a good first impression.

Think of it this way: the person who will hold your resume to decide if you go into
the maybe or never pile will spend perhaps as few as 10 seconds before
deciding. You’ve got to make a good impression, and quickly. The minimum: No
coffee stains, postage due, or anything that looks remotely like it went through a
typewriter. Next level: decent paper, a font that’s easy on the eyes, and good
organization. If someone asked to see your resume because they know you, you
might get a solid minute of attention, but that’s usually the upper limit. So ask
yourself, what do I want this person to remember about me, and what is s/he
looking for, in an employee and a person to fill a particular position. Make your
resume an invitation to learn more about you. Look intelligent, organized, and
efficient.

 

Commandment Number 2: Think like the reader.

The single most important thing you can do in preparing your resume is to read it
like a stranger. You are so used to being you that it is easy to forget that the
person who will hold it doesn’t know you. Make no assumptions about your life,
and anticipate assumptions others may make about you. See yourself the way
you look to a total stranger who has only a couple of pieces of paper to go by.
What horror story is lurking in that several-year gap in employment? Why so
many short-term jobs? You do what as a hobby?

 
Commandment Number 3: Tell the truth.

It’s always tempting to embellish, to add a little gloss and glitter, up the ante on
your job titles and responsibilities. And a good euphemism can transform a
mundane-sounding job into something that seems classier, more responsible,
and more important. But if you get caught in a lie you might as well save the
stamp. Be sure your dates of employment are accurate (months and years are
better than just years), your job title is accurate, and your salary info is correct.
Any detail that can be verified is a landmine. Don’t step on it.

 
Commandment Number 4: Think skills, not chronology.

Scan down the page. If what jumps out at you is a list of bolded dates, you are
selling time, not your assets. Organize your resume by sections that are clearly
identified: Goal, Skills, Professional Experience, Education, Other Information,
References. Be sure what is most apparent are words the employer wants to
see, not just a list of dates. When a reader skims the page, what should be left
and bolded is the list of skills and job titles, words and concepts that help to
promote you. Employer and dates detail should be below the job titles in the
Experience section, italicized, and non bold. The skills and accomplishments
come first, like the worm wriggling on the hook of your life.

 
Commandment Number 5: Highlight your strengths.

Under Skills, have big headings that show off what you’re selling. You’ll shift the
order around for each job you are applying for. Think about headings like
Personnel Management (or Supervision), Budgeting and Finance (or Cash
Management), and Client Relations (or Customer Service). Or even other skills
like Writing and Editing, Organizational Development, Meeting Coordination, or
Fundraising. Be sure at least one category involves money. Computer skills go
last. Detail all the software you can even moderately use. It may seem simplistic
but hearing that an applicant can use word, excel, powerpoint, IBM and Mac is
always reassuring.

 
Commandment Number 6: Look experienced, versatile, and successful.

For each title in the Skills section, include a bulleted list of achievements. Each
heading should contain at least three items (or it should be under another
category). Be sure to highlight anything you did to bring in income or save the
company money. Avoid generics; be specific and illustrative. Instead of saying
“supervised staff,” say “managed a department of eight staff, and was
responsible for hiring, firing, annual assessment of departmental efficiency, job
descriptions, and performance review. Make your achievements potential for
their own future.

 
Commandment Number 7: Sometimes less is more.

In the remaining sections be brief but explanatory. For the jobs under the
Experience section, give a job title, business, employment dates, and a one or
two sentence summary of what you did. For education, put the key elements and
degrees, not every supplementary keyboarding class or you’ll look desperate.
For interests and hobbies, tread carefully. Discrimination may be illegal, but it is
hard to prove that you didn’t get an interview because the personnel officer is
prejudiced against Rasta akateboarders. Give enough to show your value, but
not your whole life saga.

 
Commandment Number 8: Detail your references.

Go far past the “references available upon request” standard. Have a separate
page (with your contact info as a header) with the name, current phone number
and email address for each reference. Be sure to identify them by title and
company, and specify what their relationship to you is. (For example: Supervisor
of my outside sales experience: Beth Jones, Sales Manager, XYZ Corp,
123.456.7890, bjones@xyzcorp.com) And if you have a letter that says you walk
on water, add it to the packet. In the ten seconds of attention, at least five will go
to a letter that ends with “You’re making a mistake by not at least interviewing
him.”

 
Commandment Number 9: Make them want to know you better.

Tailor the cover letter for the specific job you are applying for. You don’t have to
slobber your interest, but be clear about why you want it and why you are the
right person for them to consider. Talk simply, not in jargon. Avoid cliches and
generalities. Sound sincere, articulate, and personal, as well as professional. Use
whatever clues you can get from the ad. Check out the company’s website if
possible. Even if your qualifications are going to a blind POB, address your letter
to Human Resources or Selection Committee, not To Whom It May Concern.
Remember, your letter is the beginning of a ten-second infomercial for you.
Become someone they want to meet.

 
Commandment Number 10: Proofread. Proofread. Proofread.

Do it one more time and get a meticulous friend to do the same. Nothing will get
you tossed into the reject pile faster than a typo. Do not rely solely on an
automated spellchecker, which will give you form when you want from, or some
other correctly spelled word in the wrong place. When you say detail oriental
(when you mean detail oriented), you lose all credibility. And be sure to get the
contact name, the company’s address, and other relevant details 100% accurate,
or all your hard work is in vain.

 
You won’t score an interview for every job you apply for. But you can use the
commandments above to improve your odds of getting considered for one.

10 Commandments for Job Hunting

Keeping Yourself Psyched

Your Jewish Fairy Godmother’s 10 Commandments for Job Hunting, Career Transitions, and Other Seemingly Endless Periods of Your Life When You’re Waiting for the World to Discover How GREAT You Are

Looking for a new job or changing your career can be exciting, but it can also be
a time of stress and anxiety, especially because you don’t know how long will last. It’s a
period of opportunity, of growth. Your future is filled with new challenges and
adventures, unpredictible experiences, chances to learn and excel, new friendships and
successes you haven’t even dreamed about yet.

But first you’ve got to land the job.

You know how good you are and how much you’re worth hiring. But as days and
weeks go by without someone else noticing, without plucking your resume from the
stack, calling you for an interview, saying “You’re The One we’ve been waiting for!” and
handing you a benefits package and a paycheck, it can be harder and harder to keep
yourself psyched. And if you’re not psyched about yourself, it’s a lot harder to convince
the hiring committee that you’re the greatest possible choice they can make.

When you’re looking for work, your first and most important job is keeping up
your self confidence. If you can do that successfully, your next job is much closer than if
you just coast along hoping someone will notice you. This ranks right up there with
having a good resume and sending in applications.

So what’s the trick? How do you keep yourself so stoked that you look like the
prize everyone wants to win?

Each of the ten commandments below is a different tool in your self-esteem
toolbox. They’ll help you network, help you interview, help you keep yourself mentally
ready and psychologically prepped. You may not use each of them each every day or at
every interview, but if you remember to remember them, you’ll be able to keep your
energy and your confidence higher.

 
Commandment 1. Ask for What You Want:

When you’re leaving an interview, don’t be shy about taking one extra minute. Say in your most sincere voice, “Thanks for taking this time with me. I really want to work with you. You’ll always be glad you selected me.”

 
Commandment 2. Think Strategically:

You could get hired tomorrow, but maybe not. Plan how to make your money (or credit) stretch to some unknown time. Budget for interview clothes, transportation, for rent, phone, and postage.

 

Commandment 3. Treat Other People Well:

It’s easy to feel grumpy if you’re not getting calls or feeling appreciated. But remember to be friendly, whether it’s to your mailman or people whom you call to ask about work. Practice being likable. Your attitude will show in interviews.

 
Commandment 4. Keep Asking Questions:

If there’s a company name on a job listing, call the Human Resources department. Get a name on the other end. See if you can establish a relationship as well as learn more about the specific job. Ask about as-yet-unposted positions too.

 
Commandment 5. Work Every Angle:

You never know who knows about a job. Tell everyone you meet that you’re looking and what you hope to find. Sound enthused, not depressed. Be the catch that they can call up their friend and say “Your worries are over. I found you just the right person.”

 
Commandment 6. Use Charm and Chutzpah:

Put something clever on your resume, a quote, an anecdote, something to make it stand out from the pile of applicants. Be the person they want to meet, to learn more about, to have in their office.

 
Commandment 7. Say What Needs to Be Said:

When you get into the interview room, make the interviewers like you. Have some good stories that show up your strengths. Make them laugh. You want them to feel good about meeting you, as well as thinking that you’re qualified.

 
Commandment 8. Enjoy the Ride as Much as the Win:

Changing jobs is a rare opportunity to take some time for yourself. Yes, your job is looking for your next job. But it’s also a time to go to the park and talk to some trees, to take some time to think about what you really want from your next job.

 
Commandment 9. Make Your Own Good Luck:

Take a piece of paper and write down all your fears about unemployment, low pay, bad working conditions. All of them. Now burn it. Toss the ashes in the trash. Do the same for all your hopes and dreams. Keep this list in your wallet and add everything to it that you think of and want. Read it at least once a week.

 
Commandment 10. Believe in Yourself:

Remind yourself regularly how good you are at what you do. Write a list of your accomplishments. Ask friends to send you positive messages and email. Every night before you go to sleep, visualize yourself successful and happy in your new job. Say to yourself “The right job will find me and appreciate me.”

 

You’re the best person for that job. And soon it will be yours.

25 Things You Should Have Learned Yesterday

Deja You:
25 Things You Should Have Learned Yesterday
and Should Practice Tomorrow
(and every day after…)

How many times have you muttered to yourself, Wish I’d known that
before?!!! The fact of the matter is this: if you take the
time now to harvest some important lessons, not just from last year
but from your whole working life, you can make this year and the next
ones much happier and more fulfilling. And yourself more successful in
the process.

 
Let’s get clear. The list could be much longer. But 25 is a great
number. This list is not ranked by importance, so don’t lose track of
either end of the list. If you want to be happy and successful you’ll
have to get better at multi-tasking all these diverse things.

 
1. Think strategically: No matter your age, think about your work
life as a story arc: starting out, getting experience, earning more,
having more authority, mentoring, eventual retirement. As you
progress along this paradigm, ask how each action serves your
higher goals.

 
2. Treat other people well: There’s no profession that doesn’t
involve others, whether you’re a doctor or a bus driver. The nicer
you are, the nicer you’ll feel. The kinder you are, the more others
will help you succeed. The more good-will you generate, the quicker
your working hours will go.

 
3. Do a + and – list annually: If you wake up dreading going to work
you probably already know the minuses outnumber the pluses. But
do a checklist of where your working world ranks on a scale of 1-
10. Think about everything from salary to commute time, chances
for learning and advancement to whether you love or loathe your
colleagues. Do this every year within a month of your birthday or
hire date.

 
4. Review your resume annually: It’s easy to forget how good you
are or that you might need to prove it to someone new later. Ditto
that you might be stuck and not changing in your current job. Keep
your resume up to date with newly acquired skill sets and
accomplishments. If you’re ever unemployed you’d need to update
it for real. This’ll give you perspective and a big leg up.

 
5. Keep your options open. Even if you like your job, keep your
eyes and ears open. Listen to how other people talk about their
days, their duties, and their bosses. Pay attention to what they say
about advancement and openings. Look at WW, the Sunday
classifieds, or job boards to see what’s out there, and to learn what
people will pay for what you do.

 
6. If you’re not happy, look around. Do everything above and
follow up with a resume. Be sure to say your search is confidential
in your cover letter. Whether or not your phone rings or email
chimes will help you litmus test your value and options, as well as
how you represent your experience.

 
7. Have private email. Best would be if to avoid anything except
work while at work. No forwarding cat videos or pictures of your
friends or weekends. Work time is for work. And be extra very
especially absolutely certain not to use your employer’s server to
look for another job. Nothing you do on their email is confidential.
8. Don’t gossip. None of us is immune to the lure of gossip. We all
enjoy the secret thrill of watching others go down in flames or be
exposed as adulterers or failures. But whatever you say about
others will fuel the flames when you commit some gross negligence
you cannot conceal. It happens to everyone. Be kind, and hope
others return the favor.

 
9. Don’t schtupp at work Don’t have affairs with bosses, colleagues,
or subordinates. Temptations may feel strong but NO reason is
good enough if you want to keep your job. ‘Nuff said.

 
10. Be careful what you post on social networking. Prospective
employers often google applicants. Unless you want them to see
you drunk and topless screaming Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!! in your
Pirate’s Day costume, keep those pics among you and your closest
friends. If you’ve been stupid in the past, scrub your image before
you ask someone new to pay you to be their new face.

 
11. Befriend all gatekeepers. Being able to get into the folks you
want to see can make or break you. In many organizations these
folks also monitor their bosses voice and email. If you want your
messages to get through be nice. Nothing smarmy but know their
names and make sure they like you.

 
12. Find good mentors. No one is successful on their own. Identify
folks higher on the food chain (one or two rungs) who seem
successful and to share your values. Meet with them to ask for
their help moving up. It may cost you some time helping on a pet
project, or a couple of beers, but could also pay off.

 
13. Don’t be a suck-up. Trust me, you’re a lot more transparent
than you think. No one likes a false flatterer, even the person
whose butt you are kissing. It’ll show and cost you more than
whatever benefits you hope to receive.

 
14. Be helpful. This doesn’t contradict the last one. You should be
available to lend a hand to help anyone out of a jam, friendly, and
courteous. Think Boy Scout instead of scam artist. You’ll need
folks to like you in order to succeed, and it’s hard to know what
you’ll need from whom when.

 
15. Don’t $&#% up!! No one is perfect but you can make
sure your work is spell-checked, proofed, cross-balanced, tallies,
and has the right dates, footers, phone numbers, footnotes, etc
whatever your field is. No one succeeds on their own. Having a
buddy to help with deadlines is important. Good people working
together make each other look better and your 8-5 more
tolerable.

 
16. Negotiate early and often. The best time to get a raise is before
you walk in the door. Once you have an offer, ask if there’s any
more they can give as base pay, or if you can be assured of a
raise after your probationary review. Yes it’s scary, but they’ve
just selected you. Cross your fingers, smile, and ask.

 
17. Keep asking questions. The more you know the better you’ll be
able to navigate office politics, stay ahead of possible lay-offs, or
get to the front of the line for upcoming promotions. Don’t act like
a spy, but an interested, gung-ho team player.

 
18. Learn new skills. Doing the same old same old too often will
make you dull. Be inquisitive about who’s doing what, and where
there’s room for you to do something new, learn a new technique,
or otherwise expand your skill set. You’ll look better to your
bosses and to future employers.

 
19. Casual doesn’t mean stained. Take a weekend to inventory
your work wardrobe. If things are spotted or ill-fitting, toss them
and buy something new (or used but clean). Even if you repeat
wearing the same clothes, you’ll look better than looking like you
don’t care about the impression you give others. Remember, no
matter your job description, you’re always selling yourself.

 
20. Make sure people see your extra effort. No one likes a
braggart. But if you go the extra distance and put in the extra
time, make sure the right folks know it. Send an important email
after hours; volunteer for the crunch deadline; become the person
people know they can rely on for that extra time and input. It’ll
pay off later.

 
21. Use charm and chutzpah. People like being around people who
make them feel good. Don’t become known as the class clown,
but be the one who people smile at sincerely when you walk into a
meeting. Be brave enough to tell the truth when it is called for,
and nice enough in how you deliver it.

 
22. Stay healthy. That’s everything from avoiding junk food in
vending machines to walking at lunch time. Take stairs instead of
elevators and short breaks regularly to drink water. Even if that
means walking in the rain or around the lobby of a building, get
your brain the oxygen it needs to keep your grey matter moving.

 

23. Don’t be a 2/47 slave. It’s fine to keep your smart phone
handy. But employers are hard to retrain. If they think you’ll
answer nights and weekends they will come to expect it. Make
sure you get regular detoxifying breaks from work. Everyone
needs time to get refreshed even if it’s a stay-cation of yard work
and movies. All work and no play will make you dull as an old
kitchen knife, and just as useful.

 
24. Choose to be happy. Even a bad job pays the rent. If you aren’t
wealthy and cannot afford to wait for your dream job, take
whatever’s closest to it. Look for the best you can in your current
circumstances, even if you need to give yourself a pep talk every
morning. Set goals about how to optimize your reality.

 
25. Make your own good luck. Just like the essential truth about
losing weight always comes down to eating less and moving more,
the essential truth about work is that you’re the person who has
to look out for yourself. That means knowing when to stay and
when to look for something better, when to ask for a raise and
when to wait, and choosing whom to trust.

 

 

These commandments are designed to help you jumpstart a good look
at your working world. Read them a couple of times and think about
which ones you think you need to act on. Ultimately, the most
important thing you can do is to ask yourself regularly Can I do better?
If the answer’s yes, then start doing.

Demystifying Statistics

Demystifying Statistics

Your Jewish Fairy Godmother’s 10 Commandments
for Coping with Esoteric Math and Strange Greek Symbols

 

We’ve all had that moment when we look like deer in the headlights: someone’s
making a presentation and using all sorts of mystical jargon and strange
symbols. They survey the room and seem to look straight at you, arched
eyebrow implying, You get it, don’t you? You can either fake it and nod, or admit
you have no idea what the person is talking about. You won’t actually be the only
clueless one in the room, but everyone else will be staring intently at you, eyes
carefully averted from the speaker.

 
The commandments below won’t substitute for a full-bore statistics class. But
they should be enough to get you out of the room with your ego and job intact.
Grab a pencil and paper, take them step by step, remember to breathe, and
you’ll see it’s not as tough as its reputation.

 
Commandment Number 1: Know your odds.

Everything in life is measured in odds. A sure thing has a 100% chance of
happening. It’s guaranteed, or, in statistical terms, an event with a 100%
probability. Events are how statisticians talk about things that happen. Probability
is a fancy way of saying odds. If you go to sleep tonight in your own bed, there’s
a 99.99% chance that’s where you’ll wake up in the morning. The world could
end in-between, or you could roll out, but we tend to assume life is more
predictable. Something that’s highly unlikely to occur, say that you’ll wake up an
amnesiac or in China, has a probability .00001, or that approaches 0%. Anything
you can describe or measure has a probability that ranges between 0 and 100%.
(See, this is e.a.s.y…). Just to be safe, statisticians rarely use the 0 or the 100.
They say, approaches 0, or approaches 100 (percent implied).

 
Commandment Number 2: Identify your population.

No matter what you want to measure, you have to define it. You might care about
the height of NBA players or the age of employees. The life expectancy of people
or lightbulbs. You need to set parameters, which is statisto-speak for criteria that
identify who or what you’re going to study and measure. If you need to know the
height of NBA players, the height of college players isn’t relevant. If someone
talks about “the height of basketball players” you have the right to ask if they
mean K-12, college, pros, or the kids playing in the neighborhood park. Your
studyvariable is however you define it. But once you say what it is, that’s the
definition you stick with.

 
Commandment Number 3: Know n from N.

Big N means every event you could possibly measure. Every NBA player. Every
light bulb manufactured. Every employee who works for your company. However
you define your population, that’s N. Little n is a sample of N. It represents the
data events that you’re going to do statistics on. If you tested every light bulb,
you’d have none left and would sit in the dark. So you use a sample, a
representative subset of N. There’re many possible n’s in N. Trust me on this, but
any group of 30 or more is considered a good size no matter how big N is.
Amazing but true. The goal is to find an n that is truly representative of N.
Generally randomness is considered a good way to eliminate bias. For example,
if you do a survey but ask only the opinions of your friends, that’s a biased
sample. Better to assign everyone in N a random number, put the numbers in a
hat, and have some stranger on the street draw out 30 of them. Then you have a
legitimate random sample size n = 30.

 
Commandment Number 4: Show off what you found out.

Even without measuring anything else, you’re already doing descriptive statistics!
The next step is to make them visual. In elementary school you learned about
Pie Charts: a circle broken into different size slices, each slice representing a
percent of the whole. Also, Bar Charts: the height of each bar shows how many
people are in a given category. There’s lots of other, fancier techniques. But for
almost all of them you’re limited to the two-dimensions of a piece of paper. In
computer programs you can make graphs look three-dimensional, but you need
to think about what you’re really trying to show. Generally speaking, in addition to
whatever you measured (in units of however you measured it), you have to
convey how many events got what score, the time period things change over,
perhaps contrasts between different groups (e.g. men and women, or salary vs
hourly, or technical vs sales). You can use different colors, footnotes, and other
tools. Your goal is to be able to show your chart to someone else and have them
understand it.

 
Commandment Number 5: Look at the shape of the distribution.

You’ve got your sample and measured whatever variable you‘re studying. Now
you want to understand what the results are telling you. The simplest way is to
rank the scores from biggest to smallest. Inferential statistics (ways to describe
the population N based on what you observed in your sample n), are usually
graphed in a curvy line on a grid with a horizontal and vertical axis. (Soon you’ll
understand the bell curve.) Imagine a horizontal line from left to right (the x axis),
and vertical one (the y axis) where the crossing point is zero. Mark the x axis with
key intervals (for example 5’-5’6”, 5’7”-5’,11”, etc). On the y axis you measure
count how many events/people/etc fall into a given category, Then connect the
tops of each category. If everyone scored the same, you’d have only a tall mark
in that category. If everyone was spread equally across categories, you’d see a
straight line across them. For most things you measure, there will be groupings,
tall categories with more observations and flatter ones with fewer. Look at the
picture and see what it tells you.

 
Commandment Number 6: Know one average from another.

Averages tell about the middle of your sample. There are three kinds of
averages. Each one tells you something different. If everyone scored exactly the
same, you could stop counting now. If you looked at all the observations in a
ranked list, the median is the number in the middle. For example, if you look at
the salaries of 101 employees, and rank them from lowest to highest, the median
is the salary of the 51 st person. The mode goes back to the shape of the
distribution. It’s the category with the most observations in it. For example, if
you’re looking at how long people stay with your company, and more of your
employees are in 3-6 years than any other group, the mode is 4.5 (the middle of
the biggest group, even if no single person has worked there 4.5 years). The
mean is the number you get if you share equally. It’s as if you added up all the
scores and divided them by how many people you measured. For example, if you
took the heights of all the players in the NBA divided by the number of players,
the mean height might be 6’3”, even though there are some short guys and some
giants. BTW, whenever someone says “average,” try to know which average
they’re using. In a perfect bell-shaped distribution, all three averages are at the
top of the bell.

 
Commandment Number 7: Know how different your group is from itself.

The fancy statistical name for this concept is standard deviation. It has to do with
how unalike the members of your sample n (and implicitly N) are from one
another. Imagine a startup firm, where everyone has worked there a very short
time. If you are measuring length of service among employees, there’d be a very
small standard deviation. If you look instead at a place like the US military, you
might find career soldiers in the same sample as new recruits. The standard
deviation would be much larger. For a different visual, imagine an NBA team
where everyone is between 6’1-6’5 (a small standard deviation), compared to
one with a guy 5’5 and another 7’2. the two teams might have the same
“average” height, but they’d look very different when they lined up for the pledge
of allegiance. Note: There’s math to calculate a standard deviation, but most
calculators will do it for you.

 
Commandment Number 8: Understand for whom the bell tolls.

The infamous bell curve (as in “Do you grade on a curve?) is a distribution
shaped like a bell, drawn from knowing only two numbers, the mean and the
standard deviation. (This is where it gets very cool.) You’ve been doing this
intuitively for years, as in: It takes me 30 minutes to get to work, give or take five.
That means, most of the time, you will get to work in 25-25 minutes. Less often
it’ll take 20-25 minute or 35-40 minutes. Rarely you’ll get there in less than 20 or
more than 40. By knowing only two numbers, the mean and standard deviation,
you can get a very good and surprisingly accurate picture of your population.
Generally speaking, for normally distributed variables, which is a lot of what we
measure, 68% of the population will fall within one standard deviation of the
mean (mean +/- 1 sd), 95% within mean +/-2 sd, and 99% between mean +/- 3
sd. Just from knowing two numbers, you can make a bell curve and get a pretty good picture of what’s going on in the world, all from measuring a random
sample of 30 or more. Amazing but true.

 
Commandment Number 9: Know what’s significant

This is probably the simplest and most sophisticated concept in statistics. Once
you have a mean and a standard deviation, you can do what are called tests.
Test are a fancy way of asking, if the truth is “this,” and in our sample we found
“that,” then what’re the chances that that by sheer dumb luck we’d have stumbled
onto a sample that would be very far away, improbably away, from “this?” It’d be
like concluding the average height of NBA players is 5’9”, just because we
happened to pick a sample that included a lot of the shorter guys. When people
say “our results are statistically significant,” what they’re really saying is, there’s
only a very small chance, say 1%, or 5%, that we’re wrong when we say the
mean is “that” (and it’s really “this’). One important note: the person doing the
stats decides how sure they want or have to be. If you’re testing an experimental
drug that has a side effect of death, you’d probably want to take a smaller chance
of thinking you’re right when you’re wrong than if you’re asking people which cola
they prefer.

 
Commandment Number 10: Get out your crystal ball.

There are many more complicated statistical techniques that try and predict
things. For those you generally need to look at more than one variable at a time.
For example , if you’re trying to figure out what you’d pay for a new pickup, you’d
want to know lots of things like: year, mileage, brand (yes, there are ways to
measure things that are names and not numbers), automatic vs 5-speed,
options, what part of the country you’re buying in, accident history, etc etc etc all
the way down to whether or not it has genuine leopard skin seats. If you have
enough info, you can predict what it should cost. That’s how the Kelly Blue book
works. These techniques are interesting, though complex, and you’ll need a more
advanced guide.

 
Try to think about statistics as looking like algebra but really being geometry.
You’re trying to draw a picture that shows someone what you think is true about
everyone you haven’t measured, based on the people you did measure. If you’re
interested, think about taking a class. If you can master this kind of thinking, it’s a
fast track to advancement.