Comfy At Last

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
My life is going really well right now. I’m getting kudos and promotion
at work, even a raise. My home life and hobbies are satisfying and
happy. I’m feeling very good about my emotional, financial, and
physical health. My problem is that two of my friends, pretty close
ones though they don’t know one another, are jealous of me. I know
that’s true because they’ve each told me so. One smokes way too
much pot and the other is self-employed with an unstable income. I
cannot fix their lives, or remedy the choices they’ve made. Why do
they begrudge me the happiness I have worked so hard for?
Comfy At Last

Dear Comfy At Last:
First you need to evaluate how good these friends really are to and for
you. Assuming this is a passing phase, and that you really value the
upsides of relating to them it’s worth trying to educate them on the
ebbs and flows of personal karma. But if you take some time to reflect
on how they relate to you, and come to the realization that the
friendship is one-sided relationship and in need of a shake-up, this is a
great opportunity to verbalize that. So first decide if you still want
each of them in your life.

Then have a similar one-on- one with each of them. It starts with, Last
week you said something I have been thinking about…[and goes
to]..It’s been a long time since we had a “relationship conversation” so
why not clear the air and see how we can improve how we relate?
Then have as frank an exchange as they can handle: what you love
about being their friend and what drives you crazy. Be ready to hear
things as frankly as you put them out, and perhaps with a loving
closure you can improve, not lose, the closeness.