Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I’m in a wonderful new….that’s the problem, what to call it. To one
another we say boyfriend/girlfriend or lover. But neither of us is
looking for a new love of my life, weak in the knees, get married and
live together forever happily ever after person. We are happy for the
companionship and delirious with the smooching. Both of us had been
single for a long time, and ironically we are better in the bedroom than
we are, say, chatting over dinner. We are both Jewish, both in our
sixties, and both intelligent, educated, charming, witty people with
similar political values. Neither wants to give up our home or
independence. So what do I say when various people come up to me
all wide-eyed and gushing, saying “I’m so happy you’re in love.”
Apparently “I’m not, but I’m having lots of great sex.” Is considered


Dear Delight-full:

Mazel tov! Everyone deserves to have her fancies tickled and to be as
happy, and as simultaneously grounded and mature, as you sound.
The truth is that it’s nobody’s business but yours what the depth of
your emotional connection is. People make inaccurate assumptions all
the time, of far more damaging types, about other people’s lives and
happiness. At least if they are gossiping about you now, they are
saying good wrong things, not bad ones.

People enjoy their own sensuality but often recoil at hearing about
others’. Among some generations, the idea of seniors being sexually
active is incomprehensible. And in others it might evoke shame or
envy. So rather than your explicitly cheeky comeback, how about
putting on a Mona Lisa smile and saying, perhaps in a faux sultry
voice, It’s not love, but it’s making me very happy! I’ll let you know if
it gets more serious, but until then just look for my happy face! If it
stays good you can see if it gets deeper or more serious, and decide
what you want to tell people when you are ready for them to know
more. If it falls apart or settles down, at least you’ll have had a healthy
lot of fun. But no one except you and your honey should have a vote
in that.