Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

What’s the break-up etiquette for returning items that were left ay
one’s now ex’s house while we were being intimate? I have a variety of
his items at my place, as does he of mine. Some are of a personal
nature, and others are as varied as clothing and a ukulele. We are
saying we want to stay friends, after six months as lovers. I suspect
he has already started to date again, and that the “let’s be friends”
phase will be short, as in it will last only until I have been formally
replaced, after a dating process that a mutual friend has implied has
already begun with a bang.

Ex and Happy About It

 
Dear Ex/Happy:

If you can handle the exchange with humor and equanimity you might
be able to find and enjoy the irony, perhaps even to recall why you
were sharing those items in the first place. You will, however, need to
resist the temptation to ask about his social life, no matter how blatant
the conversational opportunities are. Being able to be friends with an
ex is an art form. For longer lasting relationships it can be harder,
because people have tended to let resentments build up.  But the
alternative is tossing the items and the friendship, which seems like a
waste.
 
As long as things are amicable, suggest a coffee meeting “for a
hostage exchange to share back the things that’ve been living at each
others’ houses.” I’m sure he’ll be relieved that you brought it up,
because there’s nothing more awkward than having a new flame ask,
“Whose is this???……”