Finally Lonely

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I have been single for five years. I think I’ve worked out most of the
things that went wrong in my marriage and a subsequent long
relationship. Yes I made some of the same mistakes the second time.
But since then I have been in counseling, have shifted some of my
priorities, and have finally decided to start dating. I know there’s
speed dating, internet dating, and personals beyond telling friends
what I am looking for. I actually posted a profile and a picture but the
only people who seem to be approaching me feel far less than what I
am looking for, and I’m not sure I want to reach out to someone I
don’t know. Do you have a strategy that works and is safe?

Finally Lonely

Dear Lonely:

Being willing to talk to people you don’t know is a pre-requisite for
dating. It’s always safer and easier to rely on fix-ups from friends, or
meeting people at synagogue, in classes, at volunteer groups, or other
places where you know there’s mutual interests and other folks who
might be able to vouch for them. But times have changed and,
especially in our cocooning culture, many people meet online.


Craft your version of this sample text, or change it completely, and
post it with a decent picture of yourself for three months. I’m new at
internet dating. I’ve been out of relationship long enough to know
what I don’t want to do again, and to be ready to meet another
grown-up aged x-y. I’m interested in meeting people who are a,b,c,
and interested in sharing ideas about d,e,f, and whatever works well
between us. I&'m looking for someone who loves my best qualities and
tolerates my worst ones with patience and humor. I have no agenda
about what or who is a right next, but open to a coffee date to see if
we feel like it’s worth exploring more. If you&'re interested, please send
me an email. Meet only in a public place, preferably with a friend
lurking nearby to make sure things are okay. Write me again if you
have no luck.