Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
My mom bugs me all the time about a decision I made six months ago. I was in
my first term at college and decided not to try out for football. I know all the good
things that come with being on a team because I double lettered all through high
school. But I also knew I’d get very little playing time compared to the kids they’d
recruited. Now she brings it up daily and it is driving me nuts. I am generally
respectful but I am starting not to want to answer her calls or texts. I dread the
idea of a summer dominated with why I am a disappointing failure. I’m enjoying
exploring different aspects of life at college and am not sorry I didn’t play. How
can I get her to see reason?
Dear Had It:
Every parent wants the best and most for their child. They tend to assume that
they have answers that are right, and that a younger person might make the
wrong decision out of lack of experience. That’s true even if they are the people
responsible for instilling values and teaching their children how to make good
decisions. That said, use her own techniques on her.
Ask her how you should handle a problem you have with a friend, someone who
has a personal habit that keeps bugging you. Ask her what’s a reasonable or
polite amount of times to bring it up and remind the person about it. Say you
really value her opinion and want to learn how she’d handle a similar situation.
Say you’re looking for an actual number, even a quota, of what’s appropriate,
and a time limit, a statute of limitations, on when you should stop bugging your
friend. Stick to theory until you get answers. Then say, Mom. That friend is you.
When you….. She’ll probably say parents are different, but it’ll shift the dynamic.
P.S. You may need to remind her again, but she’ll eventually listen. Time is on