Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

Aaarghhh! What does one do with visitors who change their schedule
and arrive early? I’m not talking about the guest to a party who show
up while you’re still making hors d’oevres. But out-of- town guests who
announce that their schedule has changed and they’ll be showing up
on a Thursday instead of a Friday? To top it off it was for Labor Day
weekend. Yes I know this is past, but we have other guests coming for
the fall holidays. These particular folks were people who had given us
a place in Maui for a few nights earlier in the year, and whose
hospitality we would like to enjoy again. I really like them but I was
nowhere near ready to see them, and the house was, to put it mildly,
in frat-boy condition because my son had had his college buddies over
and had not cleaned up as promised. Do you have a plan I can put into
place?

Hassled Hostess

 
Dear Hostess:

Early guests get what they deserve. Instead of being greeted warmly
into a welcoming house that’s been freshened and readied for their
visit, they get to see the tumult, grit, and detritus of life that living
leaves in its wake. Woe be to those do not give any warning and just
appear. They should be handed an apology and a pail/sponge, or sent
out to a hike or a movie and told not to come back until evening, when
you’ll be ready to greet them in the spirit in which they’d been invited.
For folks who signal that their plans have changed, say simply, Ours
have not. We’re not ready to have company till evening, so here’re
your options. Go amuse yourselves until dinnertime. Come and help
me clean. Come talk to me and tell me stories of your trip while I tidy
up the house. Come work on the food prep for dinner while I get the
place ready for you. As for your son, give him incentives to clean up
after his buddies. You can use cash or a 2×4, but he should not get a
free pass. Personally, I’d hand him a toilet brush and tell him to get
started.