Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I was married for ten years and a mother for nine of them. I have an
MBA. My soon-to- be-my- ex-I- hop-please- God husband had a pot
habit. I make a good income a manager. He got fired annually from
every teaching job he had. One of the jobs actually lasted two years,
but then he went behind the gym and smoked pot with some of the
parents during the spring play. He’s not stupid, just irresponsible, lazy,
and self-indulgent, though he does love our daughter. We have had an
informal joint custody arrangement for two years and are now filing
paperwork to send this sorry mess. His lawyer just informed mine that
he will be filing for spousal support as well as child support. My first
words were: ^&$$&^!!!! (&*##%^!!!! ^$W&&^!!!!! $%#*^!!!!
%^#*#%^!!! I supported this louse for far too long. Other than
trusting my lawyer, do you have any good advice to offer?

Horrified

 
Dear Horrified:

I’m not an attorney and a lot will depend on the laws of the state you
reside in. Pot smoking is certainly more acceptable than when I was
young, and if your hopefully-soon- to-be- an-ex has a medical
marijuana card he may well qualify for exactly the support you don’t
want to give. I don’t know but you will need to educate yourself asap.
Assuming he doesn’t have a smoke ring loophole, you might ask your
lawyer to ask that he has to qualify as drug-free before each visitation
with your daughter. There may also be rules about exposure of
children to drugs you can use. I’d consider getting letters describing
why he lost all previous jobs from each of his former employers. Line
up every piece of evidence you can to demonstrate why he’s been
dodging adult responsibilities for a long time and hope you can
minimize the damage he’s caused to your life. And be thankful you
have only one child actively in your life now.