Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I helped get a friend of mine a job. It was at a particularly vulnerable
time in his life, because he’d been fired from his last one. I thought it
was a good fit for my company. I left the final hiring decision to the
owner, even though I am the Human Resources Manager, because of
my conflict of interest. I was very clear that though he was a social
friend, he was also well qualified. Not to put to fine a point on it, but
he has ****ed up royally by both attitude and performance. He is
flippant when he should be penitent, and people think of him as a
roadblock rather than an asset. I’m afraid he’s going to get fired. Do I
alert him or not?

In the Middle

 
Dear In the Middle:

It’s as awkward hiring friends as it is when friends borrow or lend
money. But in this case you are wearing exactly the right hat to
intervene, to warn him, and possibly forestall the firing.
Call him into your office and say this: [Friend], I’m wearing my Human
Resources hat, not my friend hat. Can you hear what I’m about to say
in that context? (Get an explicit Yes from him before you continue.)
I’m hearing lots of complaints about your performance, from both
down the line and above my head. If you’re happy here and want to
keep the job, you’re going to have to change both your style and your
substance. Let’s work on a performance remediation plan that I can
show the owner, so you can be sure of at least a month or two
employment to turn this around. And if you’re not happy, let’s meet
for a beer off-site and I’ll help you with your resume. A friend would
say thanks for both options.