Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
My daughter (20) moved home after breaking up with her boyfriend of
three years. After four months together we’ve both agreed our
relationship will improve if she moves when school begins again in
January. She’s friends with a couple about ten years older than she is,
who have a girl and boy 2 and 4. Prior to connecting with this family
Rochelle has not exhibited any interest in children though she seems
to have bonded with these two. The deal is that the parents, whose
remodeled-garage- renting tenant just gave notice, will give her the
studio to live in, utilities, use of bathroom and kitchen, and feed her
dinner every night, in exchange for $300 and “regular” help with
childcare. I’m most concerned about her academics, and unsure about
how much time she’s going to spend getting involved with this
situation. I was a solo mom myself, and I know how often I would
have liked to call out for a second pair of hands. How can I advise and
protect her?
Knows the Drill
Dear Knows:
Whether you’re selling a house, buying a car, or renting a room, it’s
always important to know what you’re saying yes to, and to feel like
you’re part of a fair exchange, one you’d be willing to be on either side
- Rochelle should ascertain how much she’d be willing to pay for a
room with kitchen/bath privileges in a shared household. Then deduct
$300 from it, and establish a fair hourly rate for her child-caring. Do
the division and she can easily calculate the number of hours per
month it would be worth it to her to help out with childcare. She
should tell the couple that number and see how they respond, which
might be Sure, or Eeek we were hoping for double that, with some
form of negotiation to ensue.
Once they’ve agreed on terms (which might be an offer for lower rent
and more hours (though that gets closer to your worries about school),
they should write it all down. All should include not just number of
hours but also some acknowledgement of her school schedule, with
allowances for exam weeks, and that impromptu help also counts.
Remind her, If the price gets too high she should look for another
setting and strive to keep the friendship intact. School first.