Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I recently got a great new neighbor. He’s a college kid who is strong
and needs money, so he has been helping me with various house and
yard chores (a bargain for $10 an hour!). It has been really great for
me. I have a humongous yard project that I’d planned to use him for
and he was prepping the terrain. The problem is my best friend. She
has a key to the house and until this week I would have said I trusted
her implicitly. But she showed up while he was working on a 100-
degree day wearing only shorts. She planted herself in a chaise with
some iced tea, ostensibly to wait for me. But when I came home I felt
like I was watching the first few minutes of a bad porn movie. She was
clearly ogling him behind her sunglasses and assessing his physical
charms and leering. I quickly hustled her into the house and
reprimanded her. She laughed and called me an old prude, but left
shortly thereafter. When I went outside the neighbor was gone. I
need him. Do I ignore it or apologize?

Neighbor Lady

 
Dear Neighbor Lady:

You find or call him ASAP to talk about the project schedule and ask him
when he’s willing to come discuss the next steps and implementation
of the project. Tell him you’ll pay for planning time just like heavy
lifting time. Then, once he’s settled in with a cool drink, apologize if
your friend’s actions the other were in any way inappropriate. Tell him
you value him for his helpful thinking as well as his muscles and you
wouldn’t want him to get gun-shy about helping you because of her
The reality is that most college guys are either blind or indifferent to
older women ogling them or might even be flattered. He might prove
the rare exception but I suspect you are more upset than he was or
would be if he knew. After the quick apology stick to talking about
work. And make sure your friend knows she’s not to repeat her
performance as Mrs. Robinson.