Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

One of my cousins overheard his father joking to another uncle about
“having tossed the old fool’s absentee ballot into the trash because she
was going to make a stupid vote for that &;^% woman.” I know that’s
hearsay of the worst kind, but hard to listen to since the elders in my
family (who live in nursing homes) are Holocaust survivors and gave
far more to live in a democracy than any of the rest of us could ever
dream of surviving. What should I say or do, because I know that is
also illegal? I am not a snitch but I am upset.

Not Yet Voting Age

 
Dear Not Yet:

You could try to talk to your uncle directly and ask if this is true, but
the odds that he would admit committing a crime to a young relative
are low to zero. You could suggest that your cousin ask his dad if he
heard him right. Then, even if the father denies it, he will learn the
value of discretion if not honesty. Sadly there is no way to protect
against this kind of fraud. But it takes much more focused hacking to
sway a whole election.

 
You should very much go to visit your ancient elders as often as you
can, both to make them happy to see the progeny so many were
denied, and to harvest the stories of their lives, which are passing
from us more quickly each day. You can say that you heard from your
cousin that she had felt it was important to vote and say how proud
you are of her for being such a good role model for you and your
generation. You can tell her that the next time there is an election you
would like to sit with her while you both vote, and then you would be
proud to carry her absentee ballot to the collection place.