Out of Control

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
I’m newly in love. It’s been a long time (five years since my divorce)
and I have forgotten how completely addictive it is to have your heart,
mind, and body so captivated by another person. I have zero attention
span at work, check my email and text messages more often every
hour than I’ll admit even to you, and have daydreams and fantasies
that would make a sailor blush. I’ve dated some since my divorce, and
even had a three-month relationship with someone who turned out to
be married (!?!) but this guy seems like the real meal deal. I’m in my
40’s and know better than to live together too soon or anything like
that. But how can I get myself back in emotional balance?
Out of Control

Dear Out of Control:
I’m not a scientist but I do recall reading somewhere that when people
are newly in love there’s biology at work. Your body releases a
different set of hormones, ones designed to make you want to have
lots of sex. That’s nature’s way of encouraging reproduction, aka the
survival of the species. As Cole Porter said, Birds do it. Bees do it.
Even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.

Unless you have a different, life-threatening, reason to have your
personal email open at work, don’t have it on your screen. Ditto your
smart phone. Save those maybe pleasures (or disappointments, for
breaks, lunch, and after work. It’ll also save you the embarrassment of
a coworker ready your email. Be careful what you say. Fantasies can
easily turn into metaphors, and you may find yourself inadvertently
saying something that’d be inappropriate or awkward at work. Once
the clock strikes 5:00, you’re on your own time and you can daydream
all you like. But if you’re behind the wheel, better to listen to the news
until you make it home.