Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
I recent joined a table tennis club for exercise. As a former tennis
player with bad knees I feel lime I have found the perfect sport for my
third stage of life. It feels like exercise disguised as play. I really get a
workout and have improved threefold since I began a few months ago.
Most of the people as welcoming nice and helpful. The exceptions I am
sad to say are all women, one queen B in particular. I know that I am
not as good as she is but there’s only a handful of us women. The
guys who have helped me improve have all said the same thing: it&'s in
our self-interest to make you better. They take pride on my newfound
abilities. She, on the other hand, has walked away from doubles
games when I have arrived to complete a foursome. Should I confront
her or ignore her rudeness?
Rudeness looks badly no matter who’s wearing, male or female.
Kindness and generosity are attractive in everyone. The helpful ones
have it right. It&'s not a zero sum game. The time she invests in making
you better will also be to her benefit down the line. But if she is too
self-centered to see it, don’t waste your time either feeling hurt or
trying to go toe-to- toe with her.
Talk to the most helpful guys. Ask if you are being too sensitive, and if
similar things happened to them when they started. My guess is yes,
not necessarily by the queen but by whomever the elites were then.
Like any family dysfunction, she’s perpetuating behaviors that should
become history. Become part of the solution by playing well and
welcoming other newcomers.