Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
Please help me with a problem that involves friends and food. I have
needed to lose weight for most of my life. I ballooned out in my
twenties in a very bad relationship and have been trying to slim down
for more than twenty years. I lose, I gain; I lose, I gain. You know the
yo-yo. But I have managed to keep off 50+ pounds and am finally
ready to tackle the last 25.
The problem is that my friends have heard me say this same thing about
ten thousand times and simply shut their ears and keep inviting me for
drinks, meals and desserts. This time, instead of picking a program where
I have too many choices I am doing one (endorsed by my medical doctor)
where I follow the meal plans. Real live food, with lots of protein and veggies,
that I prepare. But strictly on program. How can I get them to respect and
support what I am doing?
Ready to Downsize
Dear Ready to Downsize:
Don’t give any credence to their negativity and skepticism. Virtually
anyone who has been a yo-yo dieter knows that it almost always takes
more than one try to get to goal. Many medical folks believe that the
body needs to recalibrate in set points, and that when you gain more
than you lost and then settle in you set a new, lower, set point that
brings you down in steps. Admittedly trying to go the last third of the
way in one giant step is a big goal. So you’ll have to work as hard on
your maintenance lifestyle as you do on the losing.
As for your fiends, you’re going to have to prove it to them by your
demonstrations of self-control. Sparkling water with two limes, hold
the gin and tonic water. Salad not corn or potatoes. Decaf for dessert.
There’s lots of ways to eat out and still be able to be social during the
next many months it will take to lose your weight. I’m betting that as
your friends begin to see you slim down they will become more
supportive. And when you do go down your first size, treat yourself to
some spiffy new clothes to celebrate and validate your victory.