Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
I met a guy online who has asked me to go away for the weekend, all
expenses paid. We have had only three dates. I think he’s attractive
but he has been married three times before. I am not sure I want to
be intimate with him, and worry that he assumes that my acceptance
implies that I will be. How can I answer so he doesn’t think I can be
bought and paid for?
Takes It Slower
Dear Takes It Slower:
You can be forthright and honest. Tell him very clearly that you aren’t
ready for intimacy until you know him a lot better. Say you might be
interested in the weekend and the time together, and are happy to
accept his generous offer, but not if there are physical strings
attached. If there are, you would prefer to (a) not go, (b) defer the
trip, (c) pay your own way, (d) not continue to date.
Start by asking, Are you assuming we will be intimate? Depending on
his answer you’ll know what to say next.