Yapped Out

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

Over my strong objections my husband adopted a dog. A two-year old
black lab named Ilsa who is stronger than he is, and he’s a 6’6” shop
teacher. He swore he would take full responsibility for all care, feeding
and walking, as well as promising that he would bring her to school
each day, and put her in training to become a therapy dog. He’s worse
than a six-year old in terms of keeping those promises. Ilsa stays
home all day with me. We’re both unhappy. Because she jumps her
way out of our fenced yard, I tried to crate he (she sleeps there).
When I do she howls and yaps incessantly. It’s driving me insane. I
am non-functional and the clients who come to my home office
expecting my brains and attention are annoyed by my distraction.
When I let her loose to roam in our basement/home, she’s destroyed
probably a thousand dollars of library books, art supplies, and shoes.
I’m ready to find her a good home anywhere but mine, but my
husband is in love with her. Suggestions?!?

Yapped Out

Dear Yapped Out:

You need either a different husband or doggie day care. Assuming his
other qualities outweigh his lack of follow through on commitments to
doggie care, I’d vote for a daytime babysitter for the pooch. Canvas
the neighbors to see who else has a dog and a very high fence,
preferably a tall one. Tell your husband he needs to spend several
evenings having play dates with those dogs and their owners until
there’s a match. Best would be a college student or someone with a
non-traditional schedule. Or there may be people whose business it is
to provide day care for pooches. Hopefully they don’t live next door.
Regardless of the details, you need a place where Ilsa can be safe, fed,
watered, and out of your hair.

The costs for this will not be cheap. You don’t say what you do but it
might require a small increase in rates to pat for. Alternatively,
consider tying the costs for this arrangement to hubby’s own pleasures
as in, Sorry, the money for your poker evening is going for Ilsa’s day
care. Or, Tofu, not steak; we need to keep Isla in style more than us.
He may see the light or he may be willing to pay. But what you spend
in doggie care you’ll save in whatever she doesn’t munch.