Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
Please tell me if I am being too sensitive. I need to know soon as this tiff with a
good friend has lasted for weeks. She lives outside city limits and asked if I would
meet her and her visiting mother so they could check out books for a summer
vacation they are planning in Europe. I said Sure, but subject to my schedule, as
I am still weak from the worst flu in decades. I go out for an hour a day and plan
my time carefully, something that she knows about me. When I hadn’t heard from
her by 9:15 the day we had agreed on a left her a voice mail. No reply. At 11:30
she asked if I could meet them at 12:30. I said that if I had been able to plan for
it, it might still have been hard but now it was too late and suggested a few days
later. She is angry because she feels I didn&'t honor the promise; I am angry at
her lack of communication. We did it later but the holiday visit was tense. Who is
right or wrong?
You&'re both a little bit right and a little bit wrong. When a person is coping with the
needs of houseguests and the needs of friends they are caught in the middle. I
suspect your needs got second place because visiting mothers are like the ace of
trumps in a card game. When a person is recovering from a serious illness they
are used to having their world be small and predictable. But yes she should have
communicated, and yes so should you have made it clear when you could do her
Good friends are hard to come by. Call and tell her you don&'t want to be annoyed
any more and put it into the “bad things of 2017” bag and put it in the trash.
Would that the rest of the ills of the world were so easily disposed of.