Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I made a bad mistake over the Super Bowl. My neighbor and I disagree about
virtually everything, from national politics to sports. He is a raving Trumpist who
supported the Patriots. I am a guy from Philly whose father was a plumber but
who struck it big in tech. We live next door and shout (mostly) cheerful insults
over the fence. When he proposed a Super Bowl bet we agreed that the winner
would get to decorate the loser’s yard with signs from the victorious team for a
week. So I marched over Monday morning with a load of green Eagles flags for
his front yard. But after I planted them he surrounded them with a row of
incendiary suggestions about what should be done to the various members of the
team, in ways that I find offensively racist as well as violating the spirit of our
wager. He claims we never detailed what “decorating” entailed. How should I
respond?

I Thought I Won

 
Dear I Thought I Won:

Clearly your neighbor does not like losing any more than did the
Patriots. The Internet was aflame about Brady’s refusal to stay on the
field long enough to let Foles shake his hand. Being a poor loser seems
to be part of the team spirit, no insult intended to the millions of Pats
loyalists who are good sports and practice good sportsmanship, and
with full disclose I too am originally from Philly .

 
You have two choices: (1) Put a sign on your yard with a big arrow
pointing to your neighbor, explaining the original wager and asking
passers-by what they think of your neighbor’s behavior; or (2) Tell
your neighbor what you think of his serious misinterpretation of the
bet and then remove your signs (which is likely his intent). Either way,
I would avoid doing business with this man, and put your time and
energy to work registering voters to counteract his political views.