Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

A group of four friends decided to go on a 28-day diet together. I’m
probably the one who is the closest friend to each, but they’ve all
heard a zillion stories of each other’s lives, and met at parties here for
decades. We all need to lose weight. Some 30 lbs and others much
more. One of us found what seems like a very effective program that
actually is healthy and – IF YOU FOLLOW THE RULES – and we all
agreed to start on a date about 10 days out. That was enough time for
me to detox off coffee (Yikes I know!!!), read the book, do some meal
planning, and even develop a spreadsheet with lots of cues about what
to do when and how that I shared.

The others waited until Sunday
night to look at it, decided I’m not ready, and only one started on time
with me. We’d set up a group email to share our experiences. But the
gal who’s on program with me and I are feeling great and positive, and
the other two are posting snippy remarks and saying how hard it must
be and how scared they are, and how sorry they are that we‘re
suffering. In fact we are not!!! Not hungry and not tired and beginning
to feel the burn. They’re annoying me and I want to tell them to diet
or shut up. Can you say that more nicely?

Less of Me

Dear Less:

Set up different email connection with you and your friend who’s on
track with you. Tell the others they can join when they are a week into
the diet, but in the interim they are please, please, please not to post
any more discouraging or apprehensive remarks to the two of you that
are on program. Tell them they are not only annoying but also
distracting and untrue. That, like most diet, if you follow the rules, the
plan will work. But if you cheat or look to negotiate with what you’re
clearly not committed to, it’s likely to fail and discourage you even
more.

 
Say all that in a semi-friendly email to the whole group. Add into it tips
that you’ve learned in the prep time or first week, thinks like: Do a
week of meal planning and make sure you have all the ingredients in
the house. Drink all the water they say to. Use tea as a snack.
Veggies, veggies, and more veggies. Tell yourself every morning why
you are doing this. Take it one meal at a time. If they cannot respect
your decision, tell them you’ll check in on the other side. You are to be
applauded, not demoralized.