Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

My wife and I agreed in spring that our twenty+ year marriage was
irretrievably broken. I’ve been waiting for her to resolve her
employment transition before we moved forward with an amicable
divorce. We’re both professionals, own (really, are buying) a nice
house that I definitely want to keep, have pension and retirement
assets, two cars, and all the trimmings. My wife wants to move across
the country and start over but is having trouble getting traction in a
new market with no local experience. I am all for being supportive, but
I am ready to start dating and even though I know I am sincere about
getting a divorce, it would sound pretty weak to tell a woman I barely
know that I am still living with my not-yet- ex. Do you have any good
dating strategies for a guy past 50 whose primary goal is keeping his
house and then finding wife number two?


Dear Ready

Dating isn’t as easy as anyone wants it to be, let alone someone still
living with a future ex. It will definitely be easier once you are not
living together. Appreciate that many age-appropriate single women
have been fed lots of lines and lots of lies. They’ll check out the tan
line on your ring finger and be understandably cautious. Most of them
will take your "separated and getting a divorce but working out the
house" story with a large grain of salt.

Focus on what you need to get done with your wife. Go to a financial
counselor, a mediator, and if you look like you are diverging in
interests, a lawyer. You need to start the ball moving. Living together
is a kiss of death for dating. But keep your eyes open for single
women, likely also divorced who’ll know the drill. Attend every holiday
party with friends and neighbors that you can. The folks that
understand the story can reassure their single friends. You are a “good
catch” so worth waiting for, at least a littler while. But not if you don’t
get off the mark and get divorced. Also, it’s a really good idea to take
an intermission before rushing into marriage number two. Write me
when you get that far.