Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:
Another tale of woe. My ex (partner not marriage) and I got together,
lived happily for four years. Then he moved out. First I was happy but
then missed him. To entice him back I agreed to put him on the deed,
along with provisions under which I would buy him out if we ever split
up again. He’s “owed” $1,000 per year for years lived here plus half
the increase in value since when he moved back. This is legal and
notarized. I’ve had it with him for keeps, for all the reasons we split up
before the deal. I moved to the guest cottage to avoid him but now I
just want him gone. Being so close sets my teeth on edge. I don’t
want to share space any more. How can I extract him without it
costing me an arm and a leg?
Ready to Be Alone!!!!
It’s hard sharing space with an ex. Once someone’s foibles get on your
nerves (e.g. knuckle cracking, playing the TV too loudly, leaving
toothpaste on the sink, the list is endless…), you have to be in love,
speak up, commit homicide, or get out relatively painlessly. There’s
nothing like constant friction between two people to remind them how
much they don’t want to be together. Spending thousands is going to
hurt, but you have no choice if the agreement is legal.
You don’t give dates for the arrangement, but given the market I
cannot imagine the increase in the value of the home can be very
large. It’s time to swallow your bad judgment and pay up. The easiest
is to refi, but you could also tap savings or retirement funds. Do it now
because the longer you wait the more it will cost you. Your only
additional alternative is to find a different place to live until he moves
out, because you’re about to make him a tenant until he’s gone. But
leaving him in charge of your asset and your home is risky. Better to
give him notice today and the money the day he moves out.